Hope
by TinyDancer-InTheRain
Summary: Claire Jane was forced to cut all ties to La Push when she was eight but now shes back. She's sworn to silence, and her grief is killing her. Can Quil give her a reason to live, break her silence and figure out her secret before its too late? Will Hope survive?
1. Back To The Place I Belong

~HOPE~

* * *

_Soul_ _Mates  
I don't know how it is you are so familiar to me- or why it feels less like I'm getting to know you and more as though I am remembering who you are. How every smile, every whisper brings me closer to the impossible conclusion that I have known you before, I have loved you before- in another lifetime, a different place- some other existence.  
- Lang Leav_

* * *

_A/N: Claire's POV is the main_ _POV but I'll switch back and forth._

**Chapter** **1**. **Back** **To** **The** **Place** **I** **Belong**  
The storm had calmed down and was now just light rain, thank goodness.  
Yeah. Not easy!  
I've been waiting 8 years to go back to La Push, Washington. Now I'm on my way there.  
I've always planned to take off and go when I turn eighteen but I couldn't wait any longer.  
Especially not after what happened.  
You see I used to live on the La Push indian reservation when I was little. My whole family was there, aunt Emily and Uncle Sam, the gang-who is like having 18 or 20 brothers and sisters/bodyguards-lived there.  
Quil was there.  
When I was 8 though my dad all the sudden forced my family to move across the country to North Carolina.  
He said it was for "work" or something.  
I never lost touch with my aunt Emily or my best friend Renesmee, though.  
In fact Renesmee's boyfriend, Jacob-who is one of the boys in the "group" or gang, that is like my brother-had brought her to see me many times over the years but it was a secret.  
If my dad had ever found out-  
I shuddered.  
Renesmee and Jacob always kept me up to date on everyone. Like when Paul(the big, angry one) out of all miracles, actually fell in love with Jacob's sister Rachel or when Leah and Seth's dad died and stuff like that.  
I never dared ask about him, though, and they knew better than to tell me.  
I've never been able to get his face out of my head, forget his name, or figure out why I've always felt this tug or pull in my heart to find him.  
Maybe he's the real reason I'm going back to La Push, and not my family, or maybe I running from my fears, the truth even, maybe all of it. Maybe not.  
The biggest reason I'm leaving though is to try and escape the memories, the pain, the fake smiles and the people who think they know but have no idea how I feel, the constant looks of pity, the ones who act like they're stepping on glass trying to avoid saying the wrong thing, and the ones who don't even know what to say at all.  
"I get a little bit stronger." By Sara Evans was playing on the radio. The lullaby of the rain made me want to fall asleep like my sister Chloe was in the passenger seat. The sun had already set, and the sky was filled with darkness.  
I passed the "The Quileute Tribe Welcomes You To La Push" sign about the time my phone buzzed.  
I could see what it said without even picking it up.  
_Hope_ _the_ _weather_ _isn't_ _giving_ _you_ _any problems. There's tons of food here. Can't wait to see you guys!_  
It was a text from Emily.  
_Just passed the Welcome sign. Thanks! Be there in a few._  
I replied.  
I sighed as I followed the GPS's directions down the dirt roads. I noticed a lot of things that looked familiar to me. Especially the beaches.  
I felt like my heart was beating as fast as the wings of a humming bird and was going to jump out of my chest and fly away.  
I noticed a bunch of cars park in the grass beside Emily's dirt and rock driveway, as well as Jacobs motorcycle.  
Then I remembered that Emily told me a bunch of the boys just parked their cars here since they could walk to most places.  
The door opened before I even turned the car off, and I recognized Sam's familiar face, emerging with an umbrella.  
I whacked Chloe playfully with my hand that had the cast on it, to wake her up.  
"Ow!" She yelled, being dramatic.  
I rolled my eyes, that couldn't have hurt.  
Emily was standing under the cover of the porch smiling, and waving.  
I opened my door and Uncle Sam held the umbrella over me.  
I grabbed my crutches and set them outside the door, then still holding on to them stood up on one foot.  
Sam shut the door for me, I didn't meet his eyes because I could tell he was giving me a confused, worried look.  
Chloe had already run out of the rain to the house and was hugging, and talking to Emily.  
"Oh my! Can we do something to help?"  
Emily asked, noticing my crutches, casts, bruises and scratches.  
I shook my head as I made my way up the steps slowly.  
"Okay, well why don't we go inside and get out of this rain! She said, holding the door open.  
"I'll go and bring your bag in in a little while," Sam offered.  
I nodded and smiled, sitting down on the couch with Chloe. Sam sat in the recliner.  
"Sam why don't you let Claire sit there and put her foot up?" Emily suggested.  
I shook my head and held up my hand to assure them I was fine on the couch.  
"Are you guy hungry now or-"  
Sam laughed. "Emily give them a moment to breathe, I'm sure they'll let us know."  
I nodded and Emily relaxed, taking a seat on the couch as well.  
"We are glad ya'll are here. We've missed you. Whatever is here, you guys are welcome to. Make yourselves at home."  
Sam said, rolling his eyes and smiling.  
"Exactly, let us know whatever you need. I'll show you where your rooms and everything else is in a little while," Emily finished.  
I nodded and Chloe thanked them.  
God Emily needed to relax, she was making me nervous.  
I told her about my injuries, as well as my biggest one.  
I haven't been able to talk since after the accident. The doctors still don't know why, or for how long but I'm basically mute.  
It still surprised Emily though, I guess.  
Chloe asked Emily for a notepad and pencil that I could use.  
Emily rummaged through the kitchen drawer, finding them immediately.  
"Oh," Emily remembered, sitting back down, "Jacob and Renesmee said they'll be here tomorrow morning. They wanted to give you time to settle in tonight."  
"Yeah, I told the guys to stay away tonight, so ya'll wouldn't be to overwhelmed but be warned they're usually here 24/7, they're big, and loud, and take up a lot of room but they're harmless and will do anything for you. You just might have to tell the to shut the hell up a lot," Sam warned us.  
Jacob had basically told me the same thing but I still laughed at the way Sam said it, and his face.  
I held up my finger to tell them to hold on and scribbled on the paper.  
_Do_ _they_ _know_?  
Sam shook his head.  
"Besides Renesmee, Jacob and us no one knew you guys were coming or anything about you, Claire. It's not our place and Emily said you wanted it to be a surprise?"  
I nodded and wrote messily on the pad.  
_Thanks_.  
_Oh and I go by Claire Jane now._  
_Does_ _um_, _he_ _know_?  
"Oh sorry! Er, we thought he should know but no we didn't tell him anything."  
I just nodded, not sure how I felt about it.  
There was a nice silence for a while, then Sam decided to go get our stuff out of the Car.  
They told Chloe and Me to take their bedroom downstairs off of the kitchen so I wouldn't have to go up and down the stairs.  
I kept refusing but they insisted. So I said okay but only until my cast was off.  
I was sitting at the bar counter in the kitchen and Sam sat our bags in our new room before coming to stand beside me.  
Chloe was busy stuffing her face and Emily had disappeared, probably to put clean sheets on the bed, which made me feel bad for not helping.  
I looked at all the food on the counter and at Sam

_Please tell me she didn't cook all this for us_?

Her voice rang out of the master bed room, laughing, "Most of it's Sam's...you know he eats like a pig! They all do. That's nothing compared to what I cook when they're all here. You'd think the whole world was coming to dinner or something!" I laughed.

"Um you being here, Claire Jane, is a big deal but especially for Quil. I know it's probably the last thing you want to do right now but I think it would be best if he didn't find out from someone else..."  
I held up my finger so he would wait while I wrote down what I had to say.  
_I_ _understand_. _It's_ _fine, lets just get it over with._  
Sam read it over my shoulder while I was writing and nodded.  
Emily walked in holding the dirty sheets in her arms, standing outside the laundry room door.  
"Are you sure that's the best idea right now, Sam?" She then look a me, "Are you sure you can handle it, Claire? You don't have to if you don't want to."  
She must've forget and called me Claire.  
He's going to find out sooner or later.  
I wrote, shrugging.  
She sighed and put the sheets in the laundry room.  
Sam pulled out his cellphone and I was already starting to feel sick to my stomach.  
The back door swung open before Sam even had time to punch in the digits.  
Time froze.  
It was Quil.

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**So** **that's** **Chapter** **Uno**. **Review and let me know what you think.**

**Next chapter should be up tonight so we can see what happens with Quil!**

P.S. I'm writing all this on my phone then copy and pasting it because my computers broken so I don't know how it will come out. Forgive me!

-TD


	2. Magic

Last:  
_Time froze.  
It was Quil._  
_

**Chapter 2. Magic**  
Time froze, everyone froze.  
It was just him and I, staring into each others souls.  
Not to sound corny but I don't know how else to describe it.  
He was...  
How do I find the words? He was here, actually standing here in front of my eyes.  
He was so much better than how I'd remembered, but still familiar.  
I felt like we'd been attached to each end of a broken rubber band, stretched as far as we could go, now we've ricocheted back and didn't have to strain anymore.  
He looked like Jake and the rest of the guys but a hundred times as gorgeous.  
His hair was sprinkled with raindrops and he was shirtless, staring at me like...like..  
Like everything was complete now, like I was a princess. Like he would die for me or something.  
He look at me the way Sam looked at Emily and I know that's a rare thing. A good thing.  
Like magic.  
Magical love or something.  
Fate.  
How could that be true though. Of course he didn't love me like that.  
I wondered if he remembered me at all. Though if he's staring at me this long I guess so.  
I blushed, looking down from his gaze.  
I took a quick peek through my blonde hair to see if he was still staring at me.  
He was.  
His mouth was hanging open, hide eyes wide, intently concentrating on my every move, every breath, every blink.  
I looked away again, feeling the heat in my cheeks.  
Someone laughed.  
It was Chloe, of course. Quil never broke his stare, though.  
Sam walked over and shook him a little then slapped him on the shoulder.  
It didn't work. It was like he was in a trance or something.  
Sam put his hand over Quil's eyes.  
That did the trick!  
Quil actually growled, and slapped Sam's hand away.  
His eyes softened though when he looked back at me. Then he look at Chloe and then at Sam and Emily and back at me.  
"Claire Bear?" He whispered.  
I was a question, like he wasn't sure if it was actually me or not. Or if it was a dream.  
My heart puddled at my feet when he called me that. I made me remember how he used to call me that when I was little.  
I was on the verge of sobs.  
So I made sure not to meet his eyes.  
I nodded.  
"Claire," He whispered again.  
"Don't worry I got you, sis," Chloe winked, giving me a thumbs up, " She goes by Claire Jane, now."  
He look at her confused and maybe a little annoyed.  
Hey, I always look at her like that!  
"I'm Chloe, Claire's little sister."  
"Very nice to meet you. Thanks for the heads up!" He said politely, smiling.  
Damn, his voice.  
God...  
"I uh...um...I..."  
He did seen to know what to say.  
Sam interjected.  
"Claire Jane and Chloe are staying with us for the summer."  
"Really?" He looked at Sam hopefully.  
I nodded but I didn't know if he saw me or not.  
Quil looked back at me and after a moment it seemed to dawn on him.  
"What's wrong? What happened? Does it hurt?" He started freaking out.  
I laughed and grabbed the pencil.  
_I_ _was in an accident and not that bad.  
Nice to see you, Quil. _  
It sounded like an old lady but I shrugged and tossed the pad across the counter towards him.  
It flew off right into his hand. I don't know how he caught it so far a away. It was like magic.  
He gave us a confused look before reading.  
"I never thought I'd see you again, I don't think you'll ever know how great it is to see you right now."  
His words made me think of Hope and I felt like there was a stab in my heart and a catch in my breathe.  
The same way I feel every time I think of her. Which is every second of every hour of every day.  
I nodded and something clicked in his head again.  
He looked up again, confused, "Why did you write this on a piece of paper? Why do you keep nodding."  
I needed the pad so I hopped off the stool onto my good foot, grabbed my crutches and wobbled towards him.  
That was a bad idea, throwing it.  
As soon as Quil saw the crutches and my casts it was like someone had shot him or told him he had cancer.  
Are you freaking kidding me?  
I thought.  
The closer I got the taller he got. I was now about as tall as his waist. It made me feel like in ant in comparison.  
I looked up at him, which wasn't very easy, and held my right hand with the cast out for the paste.  
He immediately gave it to me, not breaking his gaze again.  
_I lost my voice in the accident._  
He read it and looked at me with pain in his eyes.  
He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, and rested his hand on my cheek, stroking a gash I had on my cheek, gently, careful not to hurt me.  
"You've gotten even more beautiful than the last time I saw you."  
Sam cleared his voice, "Okay Quil, lets not freak her out now."  
Quil immediately drew back his hand and whispered softly, "Sorry."  
He stepped back as well.  
Thank a lot, Sam!  
I rubbed my eyes and yawned.  
I hadn't realized how tired I was, or how late it was.  
Emily warmed me up some food and I wolfed it down before heading to bed, forcing Chloe to as well.  
I could hear them talking through the door. Quill was insisting on staying here tonight.  
"I can't leave, I can't let her go again Sam. Not yet. Not until I know for sure I'll see her again. I just can't, Sam, I can't. You know what it's like, you know how bad it hurt me the first time."  
I wondered what that meant.  
"Alright, you can stay on the couch. But give her her space, she'll need time."  
"I've waited 8 years, as long as I can see her face I'll give her a million years."  
I smiled and stepped away from the door.  
After changing and brushing my teeth and everything I carefully crawled into the giant, cloud-like bed next to Chloe.  
I guess it had to be giant for Sam to fit on it.  
Chloe put a pillow under my leg before turning out the light. Not too shabby of a sister, I have to admit.  
I fell into a good sleep for the first time since the accident.  
I only had one nightmare that night. The same nightmare I have every night.

* * *

(Next day)  
I wake up every morning remembering what I was trying to forget the night before.  
I reached for the locket hanging next to my heart and kissed it.  
I noticed Chloe had gotten up.  
I didn't bother putting on make up or changing clothes are anything.  
Something smelt good!  
I opened the door and froze.  
Twenty-something pairs of eyes staring at me.  
Yeah, definitely should've changed and put on make up.  
I turned, well the best I could and shut the door quickly in horror.  
It opened and slammed only a second later.  
"Claire!" Renesmee yelled, awkwardly hugging me.  
I sat on the bed and laughed, making the "I love you" sign with my fingers.  
She sat down on the bed and shrugged, "I know!"  
I laughed.  
"So, I heard Quil was here last night... What happened? Tell me, tell me, tell me!" I laughed at her need for gossip, she told me once that she got it from her aunt Alice.  
I pulled out my phone and used the little app I had that would speak what I typed.  
"He came and stared at me a lot."  
Ness rolled her hands like she was waiting for more.  
I rolled my eyes and typed.  
"He did tell Sam he couldn't leave me, he couldn't let me go again. And how bad it hurt him the first time, or something like that," said the strange, alien voice coming out of my phone.  
"Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my god! That is so cute! Jake told me it really did almost kill him, though, when they took you away," She was bouncing up and down on the bed.  
Renesmee helped me get dressed and everything without breaking something else.  
I finally got up the courage and wobbled into the kitchen again.  
I waved.  
Like a crowd of robots they all waved back.  
Some were in the kitchen, some were at the table, some were in the living room, on the stairs, in extra chair or sprawled out on the floor. They were literally _everywhere_.  
I sat on the couch between Renesmee and Chloe and everyone crowded around me.  
They asked me questions, told me how much they missed me or how nice it was to meet me, hugged me and they loved me. By noon we were all caught up, laughing and having fun.  
I realized I could get used to this place. It was a lot of fun, they all fell at my feet saying they got my back, whatever I needed.  
I smiled at Quil across the room. He smiled back.  
I smiled at Emily, who was wrapped in Sam's arms and mouthed 'thank you'.  
She smiled and gave a small nod.  
The boy were great, the didn't push me on my accident or get frustrated that I couldn't speak, and told me the most hilarious stories that I was crying, and my stomach hurt from laughing.  
I could see what Emily meant about the food, it was gone in a second.  
They all looked the same, like twins, even some of the girls looked like the boys.  
It made me wonder in the back of my mind, but I decided to ask some other time.  
This was magic.  
Every single thing about it.

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**This chapter ended bad but I didn't know what relate to say. So now everything is out in the open and next chapter should be good. Thanks for the reviews, don't stop!**

-Tiny Dancer


End file.
